I hope that you had a fabulous August, that you were able to Rejuvenate your heart, mind and spirit and Replenish your “Spiritual Parenting Bank” and are now ready to jump right into another academic year with a new pair of eyes. Above, I share a moment I took my own advice this month and created one of several fun, relaxing moments I had with either one of my family members, friends or colleagues this summer. This one was with one of my cousins in Marblehead, MA. Life is Good, as my shirt promotes, and my spirit feels!
Okay, so now that we have had a much-needed break from the busyness of life, are we ready to dive right back in? Maybe, as many of you may be thinking! It is stressful being a parent today. Surgeon General, Dr Vivek Murthy, stated recently that “41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function”. YIKES, that is a revealing statistic. Not only that, but he goes on to say that, “When stress is severe or prolonged it can impact our mental and physical health…. Parents well-being is linked to the well-being of kids, and it can affect their health, their learning and their future…Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us.” Amen.
I remember how stressful the beginning of the year was in getting to know my daughter’s teachers, the overall curriculum for the year, expectations, filling out all the new paperwork and parents’ night to meet all her teachers. It was an extra layer of “to do’s” to my day. In 2024, this also is compounded by post-pandemic changes in work, technology, social media, gun violence, the political landscape, an epidemic of loneliness for kids and for parents and a youth mental health crisis.
I experienced the stress in my own life as a single mom. I am sure many of you have as well. So, in that context of current American culture, the question becomes, “How do we handle these stressors”? It is complicated but if I can suggest that it starts with filling up our own “Spiritual Parenting Bank” first with good health habits which nourish our minds, hearts and spirits with the basic elements of what helps ourselves so that we are able to better help and role model for our kids. They are constantly observing us, and they learn how to handle stressful life events by observing how we handle them.
One important element that we are now just starting to realize is getting a good night sleep, so we give our bodies and our minds enough rest to feel refreshed when we wake up. This is a challenge as parents, especially when our kids need us in the middle of the night. It is important to have an awareness of ways in which we can do our best to develop a schedule for our kids so the world feels more predictable and safe. Getting them to bed consistently, at a reasonable hour, so they are refreshed in the morning and then do our best to also ensure we have a reasonable night’s sleep.
Secondly, filling ourselves up with “Real Food” especially a wholesome, nourishing diet which is critical for daily as well as long term good health. We will talk more about this in the future but for now, eating whole fresh veggies, fruits, whole grains, beans/lentils, legumes, nuts, seeds and healthy fats like organic olive oil or avocadoes can be incredibly helpful. It will nourish and power our bodies and our brains as well as our kids minds and brains for good energy and emotional resilience.
Thirdly, it is critical that parents have a community of support, so they feel that they are not alone in trying to give their kids a better life. We can get this in various ways depending upon the resources available to us. Ideally, we have a supportive partner, family, extended family, friends, colleagues and a work environment that supports us. If not, we will need to find resources that meet our needs whether a professional counselor or individualized support group. As a community of parents who know the importance of support, we are also here to help you build the muscle for good health habits in your life so you are able to be the parent you want to be and your child needs you to be. What I know for sure is that any desire or dream that you have for you or your family in your life is best accomplished in a community of support, and we are here to help you to do just that.
Beyond this, some of the best strategies that I have found to reduce stress in life is by ongoing practice of stress management. As a single mom bringing up my daughter, it was my lifeline. When my daughter was very young, I did my traditional Mindfulness Meditation that I had been doing for many years before I even became pregnant. It has been my go-to stress management resource to keep me grounded when stress is impacting my health and my energy. This is equally important for kids, especially in the environment in which they are growing up so that their brains are wired for resilience. When my daughter was a toddler, and in preschool, we would do kids yoga together. In her Elementary School they had yoga time together in the classroom. She loved it and it is true what they say that the habits they develop as young children become the templates upon which they build their lifelong habits. While she is 26 years old today, and on her own, she continues to do yoga consistently, which makes me so happy for her because I know that this will help her better deal with the multiple stressors in life at her age and well into the future.
On that note, this brings me to a fabulous Habit of Eating that one creative large Universal Pre-K (UPK) system has designed within their program for 3- and 4-year-olds as part of their curriculum just this month. Some of you are seeing this Universal Pre-K in your own communities and I am so happy for all these little children. What they have planned is all UPK school lunches will be done as a Family style Meal so the children will remain in their classrooms and eat together with their teachers as a group. Research has found that the benefits to children of eating a meal together in a reasonably positive environment is remarkable including improved vocabularies which in turn helps with earlier reading, better parent child connections, resilience, lower stress, depression and anxiety, as well as lower substance abuse in kids and stronger self-esteem. Beyond these emotional benefits, it also helps physically with improved eating habits, less obesity, and lower teen pregnancy!
Other research by James Heckman, an economist, found that these children tend to be in a more stable position in life with a job that pays well by the time they are 30 years old. One research study out of Boston found that children who attended UPK at 3 and 4 years old had better SAT scores in high school, had higher rates of graduation from high school and attendance at college when compared to those that did not attend one of these programs. This is good news for these children. WOW, I can see the potential benefits already. When done at home, reasonably positive family meals together help with family connection and communication rather than kids focused on social media or the tv while eating.
This highlights as well that parenting is a team sport. Today, parents need to feel supported by their spouses, their extended family, their schools, employers and communities. This is one area I have seen have much progress in the last 40 years as men have gotten involved much more in their children’s lives and caretaking and there are better workplace policies for postpartum leave, family leave and sick-care leave. This is huge and such a benefit to their children but also to the reality of teamwork as parents. Here at Intentional Wellness ©™ Parenting, our aim is for you to know that we are here for you too to help with discussing and putting into place health habits to keep you and your kids healthy and strong for the long term so you can do more of what you love and spend less time being sick.
So, if you are looking to develop habits of healthy living, to create more joy, peace and resilience in your life, please do not hesitate to reach out to our community of like-minded folks who are working on igniting their dream for themselves and their family, one step at a time. You will be glad you did! We are here to help parents to have another level of support in this world. Having a North Star of health habits that can make a difference in how we create nourishing habits in our lives helps us to feel better, our kids to feel better and a better chance of living a longer healthier life, doing more of what you love and spending less time being sick. Join us at https://www.facebook.com/IntentionalWellnessParenting/
Here is to your good, better, best health thru Intentional Wellness©™ Parenting!
Winning Every Living day through Love, Nutrition, Exercise, Serenity & Spirituality!